With all this talk about new gun control laws I have to question the sanity of those involved in such discussions. I mean, just because innocent children got killed for no good reason, is that any basis for overreaction? Honestly, guns do not kill people, people WITH guns might have an easier time killing larger numbers of people, but guns never did no harm to anyone on their own, right? People need to slow down and rethink this issue before making stupid laws that would protect us from our precious guns. I have an idea and I believe it would be the best, if not only sane solution to this issue. We will need to create a new law though….
The law, in effect, should be that every man, woman and child should be required to carry a firearm at all times. From the moment you are born you have a gun registered to your name. As you progress through life and achieve certain goals and statuses you get to upgrade your gun. When you reach a certain age, say twenty-five, you can possess as many guns as you like, the more guns out there, surely the safer we will be. Just think if a person tries something stupid with a gun every person in the surrounding area would just blow that motherfucker away and we would all be so safe. First and foremost guns make every person in possession of one safer, there is definitely no evidence that shows people that possess firearms are more likely to be killed by a gun, right? (http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17922-carrying-a-gun-increases-risk-of-getting-shot-and-killed.html)
The second amendment- A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. What? What the fuck? That doesn’t even sound like it guarantees the individual the right to bear arms. It sounds like the people have the right to a well regulated Militia… huh? Let’s just get rid of that stupid sounding amendment and make this the second amendment- Every man, woman and child are required, at all times, whether in the privacy of their own home or in the public domain, to have at least one of their registered firearms on their possession. I feel safer already just writing that.
This is obviously satirical. It just baffles me how crazy, insane people are about their guns and how ANY attempt to regulate them is viewed as being oppressive. Get the fuck over yourself; nobody is coming in the middle of the night to steal your god damn guns. I propose, serious and extensive background checks and psychological evaluation prior to the purchase of any gun, regardless of the type of gun. I also think any person living in the gun owner’s household should be subject to both background check and psychological evaluations.
The argument I am the most sick of hearing- “Criminal don’t follow laws so making laws isn’t going to keep guns off the street.” While that might be true, in the two most recent mass shootings the guns were legally bought by people with no criminal records. Those guns ended up in the hands of people with only one goal in mind- to kill as many innocent people as possible. Why did they choose guns? Why not knifes or cars or gravity? Because guns are capable of killing large numbers of people in a very short time, knifes, cars and gravity, not so much. Maybe if there had been some sort of psychological evaluation the Aurora shooter would have never have gotten his guns. Maybe if a background check had been performed on all the people living in the Newtown shooters house he would not have had access to those guns. These are the things gun owners should be thinking about, not about the government taking away your guns, because not one single law proposes taking away any persons guns.
A couple more random things-
I have three children in school and the last thing I would want is armed guards in their schools, adding more guns does not in any way help the situation. If I were the president and my children were viewed as high profile targets you are damn right I would expect them to have armed guards, the difference is not hypocrisy its sensibility. Also, the militia referred to in the second amendment was actually a reference to the militias of the south, which were also known as slave patrols that were used to make sure there were no slave rebellions (http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/01/16/founding-fathers-words-reveal-2nd-amendment-was-to-preserve-slavery/) Just a fun fact I thought I would include.
So go enjoy your guns, be proud and be loud, but just remember, guns are made for killing… they ain’t no good for nothing else. And if you like to drink your whiskey, you might even shoot yourself. Peace y’all.