Extra Late Bloomer

Aside from being born on my due date, I think I have always been late.  I was late to the party, late to class and of course late to arrive (in every sense of the word.)  So being a late bloomer is not a surprise, though I guess at my age it should be called an extra late bloomer.  I have always had the ability, though at times I might have doubted it.  I just never had the right combination of focus, motivation and desire.  I think I finally have those things in place.  Now it becomes a matter of execution and once I know what must be done I have no problem getting it done.

Focus is the hardest thing for me.  My mind never rests and can get pulled in a hundred different directions if I am not careful.  It has made it difficult at times to finish what I start.  I get a great idea, run with it until I get stuck and then the next great idea takes over and I am off on another wild goose chase.  I think I have that part under control now; focus and perseverance go hand and hand, I had been lacking the perseverance.  My focus right now is on getting a degree and regardless of what life throws at me I will not give in until I have obtained it.

Being properly motivated is not something I always am.  I don’t really know how to change that other than to just do it.  That is what it comes down, not being lazy and doing what has to be done.  No excuses, I just have to hold myself accountable and make sure shit gets done.  That’s all there is to it, no secret, JUST DO IT!!!

Desire is not something I have ever had a problem with, I have plenty of desires.  This, like focus can cause problems- I am going to do this and this and then that and that and so on and so forth.  I desire a degree, so all other desires will have to be sacrificed to make that happen and I am just going to have to accept that.  Most desires are temporary and fleeting at best, while those desires that require the most work are the most rewarding.  It is a short-term verse long-term situation and my desired goal is long-term.

I will keep my desires focused towards the goal, which will keep me motivated. At this point my motivation will be proving to myself and everyone else that I can do it.  I think enough people doubt me now that I feel I have something to prove.  That might sound lame ass, but for me it is a matter of whatever works.  If proving every single person I know wrong is what motivates me, so be it.  If it gets me to accomplish my goal that is all I care about….

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