Aside from being born on my due date, I think I have always been late. I was late to the party, late to class and of course late to arrive (in every sense of the word.) So being a late bloomer is not a surprise, though I guess at my age it should be called an extra late bloomer. I have always had the ability, though at times I might have doubted it. I just never had the right combination of focus, motivation and desire. I think I finally have those things in place. Now it becomes a matter of execution and once I know what must be done I have no problem getting it done.
Focus is the hardest thing for me. My mind never rests and can get pulled in a hundred different directions if I am not careful. It has made it difficult at times to finish what I start. I get a great idea, run with it until I get stuck and then the next great idea takes over and I am off on another wild goose chase. I think I have that part under control now; focus and perseverance go hand and hand, I had been lacking the perseverance. My focus right now is on getting a degree and regardless of what life throws at me I will not give in until I have obtained it.
Being properly motivated is not something I always am. I don’t really know how to change that other than to just do it. That is what it comes down, not being lazy and doing what has to be done. No excuses, I just have to hold myself accountable and make sure shit gets done. That’s all there is to it, no secret, JUST DO IT!!!
Desire is not something I have ever had a problem with, I have plenty of desires. This, like focus can cause problems- I am going to do this and this and then that and that and so on and so forth. I desire a degree, so all other desires will have to be sacrificed to make that happen and I am just going to have to accept that. Most desires are temporary and fleeting at best, while those desires that require the most work are the most rewarding. It is a short-term verse long-term situation and my desired goal is long-term.
I will keep my desires focused towards the goal, which will keep me motivated. At this point my motivation will be proving to myself and everyone else that I can do it. I think enough people doubt me now that I feel I have something to prove. That might sound lame ass, but for me it is a matter of whatever works. If proving every single person I know wrong is what motivates me, so be it. If it gets me to accomplish my goal that is all I care about….