My muse does not amuse me, it taunts and deceives me, and it lies hidden when I need it the most. I know I am not even supposed to believe in a muse, they are mythical beast made up to torment the mind of writers the world over. Yet I know my muse, I can tell when I am under its hypnotic spell, the words flow freely from my fingers, tap tap tap on the keyboard. My muse has many names, it can be a person or a project I am working on or it could just be some grand idea. Whatever it is, it inspires me. It can be so fleeting though, or maybe I just can’t control it the way real writers are able to. Its likely appearance is as fickle as a coin flip, heads or tails, fifty-fifty!
That is the thing; the muse is meant to tease and delight, but at the same time it can never be possessed. It loses its creative energy when it is overcome by the one it inspires or at least it has in my experience. No two people will have the same exact experience, they may be similar, but there will always be differences. Ultimately, the muse must be something I will always want, but never have. It is the chase towards the unknown that inspires, that is the strength of the muse. Sometimes it gets too far ahead of me and changes its appearance; eventually I recognize it for what it is and continue the chase. It is those times when the muse is absent that I must look and try my hardest.
When the muse is away I must be able to trust my instincts, whether with writing or life in general. My instincts do not always serve my best interest, and while I would like to think that that I can trust my instincts at least fifty percent of the time, experience may not bear that out. There is always flipping a coin. Let heads be yes and tails be no and let decisions be made with a likely better outcome then if I were to put a thoughtful guess into it. Really aren’t most decisions just thoughtful guesses? I think I know this, that and everything else only to realize later that I didn’t know this or that about anything. I am not suggesting that this happens all the time, but I would be willing to bet it occurs with more frequency then most will admit to.
The muse is too fickle to be counted on, and experience shows my instincts are not always to be trusted; maybe flipping a coin is the best option. When I look over the results of some of my choices/decision I honestly believe the overall number of positive outcomes would have been better with the flip of a coin. It literally takes all the guess work out, it’s either heads or tails- do I talk to this person (heads)or that person (tails)– heads it is, okay I am talking to this person. Do you see how easy that is? You never look back, once the flip decision has been made there is no second guessing. Maybe, going forward I will let all my decisions be made by coin flip, starting with this one.