Originally Published 12/31/10
Not the law as thought of by the New Thought writers of the early 1900’s, more in the sense of magnets. Opposites attract. I one-hundred percent buy into this; not in theory, but in practice. In my life I have dated a lot of women that were just like me. We liked the same movies, loved to read and had like-minded goals for life. These relationships always start with a quickening tempest; swept off ones feet, comes to mind. Regardless of how long these liaisons last, they all end for nearly the same reason; when everything is equally liked what is left to share? Nothing! Why even bother talking, you already know what is going to be said, I guess you could say irreconcilable similarities.
As stated above I have had some relationships with women similar to myself, one or two long ones most short. It seems the longer they last the worse they end. I have only been in a relationship with my near polar opposite once and this February we will be celebrating our tenth anniversary. We are the perfect counter weight for one another, whatever either one lacks the other supplies. Do not misunderstand, things are not always perfect, every person has mood cycles, and when two bad mood cycles cross paths and the lines of communication cease the only outcome can be a good ole get in your face argument. Once the air is cleared and the moods pass things generally return to normal. We have both also mastered knowing when the other is in a bad mood and for the most part just leave them alone. Sometimes those bad cycles just hit at the same time and then watch out.
This was the hardest relationship to get going; we just did not click right away. We did click enough physically to have sex after a couple of weeks though. The second time we had sex we were pregnant. It was a shock to my system, I had only in the last eight months gotten out of a long-term relationship (five years) and I was just having fun, a lot of fun…. The last thing I was looking for was anything long-term. She also had a three and half-year old son (now fifteen), so BAM there you go I had an instant family and it scared the shit out of me. Throughout most of the pregnancy we were not together, but through it all we never once completely gave up. This is where the magnet analogy ends, as time passes magnets might lose some of their attraction while the attraction for my wife and I has steadily increased and I see no signs of that changing. Believe me, at its inception there is no way I could have foreseen the future happiness I currently reside in.
My advice to those looking for love would be to not look in the same aisle that they buy their books in. It is not the similarities that strengthen the bonds of love, too much of anything just pushes the scales too far to one side and there is no balance. The person does not have to be your absolute opposite, but the more differences you have the more there will be to learn from one another and things always seem to be fresh. There always have to be things in common, basically do not look for the opposite sex version of yourself, because in the end too much of a good thing is just that too much. Opposites always gain from each other, thus enabling both them and their attraction to become stronger.