Holy Shitkittens, How Wrong I Have Been

I cannot take credit for the word “shitkittens” that comes from the terrible mind of one Chuck Wendig. He is an author, screenwriter and game designer. Chuck also writes a blog, terribleminds.com chock full of helpful advice for “aspiring” writers. Chuck could also teach a creative cursing class that would blow your mucking find. In a recent post, http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2013/07/23/writers-you-might-be-doing-it-wrong-if/  Chuck tells all of us “writers” just how wrong we might be going about being a writer. More than a couple of the things on the list I found myself relating to. The biggest wrong I am guilty of is viewing myself as an “aspiring” writer, you are either a writer or you are not a writer, period, end of story.

I am a writer; I write… sometimes… sometimes counts as being a writer, right? Wrong. A writer writes, daily or at least more often than not. I write for two, three days and then do no writing for a week or more and that’s just weak. This is the easiest wrong to right, just write, right? Ah, but this is also the hardest one to fix for me personally, I have to hold myself accountable. And, that I have had a difficult time doing in the past, but no longer. I figure with my current work schedule I have four-five mornings every week to use for writing, I just have to get up early enough to use that time for writing. The past week I have been getting up earlier, so that’s a good start.

Another thing on the list, rather play video games, instead of write or coming up with any other reason to not write is not acceptable. Writing must given top priority with use of my free time. This comes down to not accepting excuses for not writing, if there is no good reason to not be writing, I should be writing. Spending time with the family (wife and children) is probably the best excuse to not write, but it is just that an excuse. If I have to spend some time, with just me and the laptop, not with the family, I cannot feel guilty about that.

I must do to be. Simply put, to be a writer, I must write. Fortunately, I have plenty to work on right now. There is a three book series that I have been thinking about for quite awhile. I am about half way done with the outline for book one. I also have a slew of short story ideas that I have brewing in the background, just waiting to come to life. There is also this (the blog) but I honestly never know what to write about, it is all just randomness. For now I will keep it as it is. When I become a more consistent writer I will get the blog more focused and have an overall theme.

I love writing, I always have. Regardless of the outcome of my writing (whether published or not) I will always be a writer. If I begin writing on a regular basis, I believe the outcome will be favorable. Thank you for reading and have a great day.

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Chatting With Strangers: Helping People You Will Not Likely See In Person

It is likely something many of us do from time to time. We see a person’s post that has a negative tone to it and rather than respond directly we opt to message them privately. The thought being that talking to the individual on a one on one basis will be more helpful than just responding to their status or tweet. These people might be a good friend or someone we really do not know all that well, in most cases it is probably someone that you will not see in person anytime soon. Is it just in our nature to care and take the time to see if you can help the person; is it more than that, is it less than that?

For myself, I have directly chatted with several people on Twitter and on Facebook that have been going through rough times. Whether it be dealing with serious depression or being in a bad relationship, I find most of the time people just want to talk about their situation with a person that is not involved in their situation.  They want an objective point of view, want to hear from a person that will not gain or lose anything regardless of what they decide to do. Most of the time people have already made their decision, they just want to run it past another person and get additional input. I have found though, once a decision is made very little you say is likely to alter their mindset.

The people that are constantly throwing out negative updates, I just ignore. They do not really want help, they are just seeking attention. We all have these types of friends in real life; there is no need to deal with them in the social media setting. They will not listen and will probably do the exact opposite of what is in their best interest anyway, just to create more drama and try to gain more attention. Most of these people are just drama loving, attention whores and their life plays out as exactly as they deserve.

I will on occasion put out a negative update, but when I am in a negative mood I am pretty much inconsolable.  When a person sends me a direct message, my general response is “Thank you I appreciate your concern, I am fine, just having one of those days.” Long ago I learned that only I can pull myself out of the shit I created and it usually is self-created shit. As I said, I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be fine, after all my life saying is, “I’ll get through I always do.”

People want help, several need help and some are just attention whores. It is up to you if feel it is worth offering to help the person. I know several times that I felt I actually did help a person and in those situations I felt really good. Not is a boastful way, more in a “I am glad I took the time to care” type of way. Ultimately it is up to you to decide if chatting with strangers and offering to help people you will likely not ever see in person is something you want invest the time and effort in.

Peace y’all.

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Arming America: A Gun In Every Hand

With all this talk about new gun control laws I have to question the sanity of those involved in such discussions. I mean, just because innocent children got killed for no good reason, is that any basis for overreaction? Honestly, guns do not kill people, people WITH guns might have an easier time killing larger numbers of people, but guns never did no harm to anyone on their own, right? People need to slow down and rethink this issue before making stupid laws that would protect us from our precious guns. I have an idea and I believe it would be the best, if not only sane solution to this issue. We will need to create a new law though….

The law, in effect, should be that every man, woman and child should be required to carry a firearm at all times. From the moment you are born you have a gun registered to your name. As you progress through life and achieve certain goals and statuses you get to upgrade your gun. When you reach a certain age, say twenty-five, you can possess as many guns as you like, the more guns out there, surely the safer we will be. Just think if a person tries something stupid with a gun every person in the surrounding area would just blow that motherfucker away and we would all be so safe. First and foremost guns make every person in possession of one safer, there is definitely no evidence that shows people that possess firearms are more likely to be killed by a gun, right? (http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17922-carrying-a-gun-increases-risk-of-getting-shot-and-killed.html)

The second amendment- A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. What? What the fuck? That doesn’t even sound like it guarantees the individual the right to bear arms. It sounds like the people have the right to a well regulated Militia… huh? Let’s just get rid of that stupid sounding amendment and make this the second amendment- Every man, woman and child are required, at all times, whether in the privacy of their own home or in the public domain, to have at least one of their registered firearms on their possession. I feel safer already just writing that.

This is obviously satirical. It just baffles me how crazy, insane people are about their guns and how ANY attempt to regulate them is viewed as being oppressive. Get the fuck over yourself; nobody is coming in the middle of the night to steal your god damn guns. I propose, serious and extensive background checks and psychological evaluation prior to the purchase of any gun, regardless of the type of gun. I also think any person living in the gun owner’s household should be subject to both background check and psychological evaluations.

The argument I am the most sick of hearing- “Criminal don’t follow laws so making laws isn’t going to keep guns off the street.” While that might be true, in the two most recent mass shootings the guns were legally bought by people with no criminal records. Those guns ended up in the hands of people with only one goal in mind- to kill as many innocent people as possible. Why did they choose guns? Why not knifes or cars or gravity? Because guns are capable of killing large numbers of people in a very short time, knifes, cars and gravity, not so much. Maybe if there had been some sort of psychological evaluation the Aurora shooter would have never have gotten his guns. Maybe if a background check had been performed on all the people living in the Newtown shooters house he would not have had access to those guns. These are the things gun owners should be thinking about, not about the government taking away your guns, because not one single law proposes taking away any persons guns.

A couple more random things-

I have three children in school and the last thing I would want is armed guards in their schools, adding more guns does not in any way help the situation. If I were the president and my children were viewed as high profile targets you are damn right I would expect them to have armed guards, the difference is not hypocrisy its sensibility. Also, the militia referred to in the second amendment was actually a reference to the militias of the south, which were also known as slave patrols that were used to make sure there were no slave rebellions (http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/01/16/founding-fathers-words-reveal-2nd-amendment-was-to-preserve-slavery/) Just a fun fact I thought I would include.

So go enjoy your guns, be proud and be loud, but just remember, guns are made for killing… they ain’t no good for nothing else. And if you like to drink your whiskey, you might even shoot yourself. Peace y’all.

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Faceless North Facers

I have never understood the need to belong to a larger group. For me, being an individual has always trumped moving with the herd. It is the obsession with the north face brand that currently baffles me. I could understand if it was a superior product and while there is some variations in the product line the most important and prominent aspect of the product is the name brand. It seems so mass produced with the thought “if my friends have this slightly more expensive name brand product that I too should have it” and it seems to be working on the genius level. The “individuals” that wear these products bear the north face badge with the honor of belonging to select club. To me they have become the “faceless north facers”, blind followers desperate to belong.

It is not meant to be disrespectful, I understand the human need to belong and identify with others is strong and ingrained in our survival DNA, but it goes beyond just north face. With very little variation these faceless ones wear nearly all the same or similar looking products. They are essentially copies of each other, varying body shapes, but always faceless. Even worse, most of the faceless have trouble thinking for themselves, they need to be told what they want. Sweeping generalization? Hell yeah! Why are there generalizations? Because they more truthful than not.

If people only wear north face because it is a superior product, I wonder would they be willing to cover up those north face badges? Maybe put a patch over the brand name with something more individual??? I do not believe people would do this, they are so proud to display those north face badges. They almost seem to puff up their chests, especially when they see another member. It says I belong, I am you, and we are the same. To me it says, I have forfeited my individuality for the sake of being a member of the mass produced for market.

I know many people that wear north face, not many that will read this; they all seem like good people. I just wonder, why did you buy north face? Was it because their product is better than the competition? Or is it because a lot of other people you know own their products? Would you be willing to cover the north face brand name? Would you be willing to express some individuality? Save yourself from becoming one of the faceless north facers.

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Changes Are a Coming….

I just wanted to write a short post about some exciting changes coming to my blog.  For far too long it has been adrift on the sea, rudderless; just floating along, whatever came to mind I would write about.  There was never any direction.  As some of you on Facebook might have noticed I have been posting statuses that start with “The truth is…” I consider these common knowledge things that I am trying to put into my own words and share with others.  I call them fortune cookie wisdom, just little nuggets that if I practice throughout the day help keep my life in balance.  I have decided to extend the idea further with my blog.

I am going to focus on the truth or at least what I consider to be the truth.  Some of you are not going to agree with me, that’s understandable.  With that in mind though, anyone that would like to represent their view on a subject I will gladly open my blog to them (within reason, no racism or hateful thoughts will ever be posted.)  I am not going to claim to always be right, it will just be the truth as I see it on whatever subject I am writing about.  The subjects will range from family, parenting, politics, religion, etc….  I would love your input on what subjects you would like discussed- leave a comment (it is easy and painless, I promise) with suggestions or just post a reply on Facebook.

For the first time, in a long time, I have hope.  I feel inspired, I feel like a heavy fog has finally lifted.  In all likelihood in the next month or two I am going to be kicked off of disability, I should be terrified, I am not.  I had wanted to finish my associates degree before that happened; I am just excited about the fact that something is going to change.  I have lived in a vacuum for ten years, I have been a great father and husband, but I have often been ashamed of who I was a person. NO LONGER!!!  I only see unlimited potential ahead of me; I also see a lot of hard work and I am willing and able to take on all challenges.

The truth is this blog is going to serve to keep me grounded, keep me in balance.  I figure at least one blog a week, if I can’t spend one hour a week writing a blog, what’s the point, right?  As I said, anyone that would like to post something just let me know, I don’t care what the subject is (as long as it isn’t offensive.) The only thing I ask is, if you are willing to write it, you are willing to put your name to it.  I know that can be a scary idea- what will people think? What if I sound stupid? Etc…. Believe me, when I started doing this I was terrified, but then I got some real positive feedback.  I am at the point now that I don’t think much at all in regards to what people think about what I write and my writing has improved because of that.

So either this weekend or early next week look for the first post under the new concept of The Truth Is… I already know what it will about/titled- The Truth is … Family First.  For me family is and always will come first in importance. Until then, thank you for taking the time to read.

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Extra Late Bloomer

Aside from being born on my due date, I think I have always been late.  I was late to the party, late to class and of course late to arrive (in every sense of the word.)  So being a late bloomer is not a surprise, though I guess at my age it should be called an extra late bloomer.  I have always had the ability, though at times I might have doubted it.  I just never had the right combination of focus, motivation and desire.  I think I finally have those things in place.  Now it becomes a matter of execution and once I know what must be done I have no problem getting it done.

Focus is the hardest thing for me.  My mind never rests and can get pulled in a hundred different directions if I am not careful.  It has made it difficult at times to finish what I start.  I get a great idea, run with it until I get stuck and then the next great idea takes over and I am off on another wild goose chase.  I think I have that part under control now; focus and perseverance go hand and hand, I had been lacking the perseverance.  My focus right now is on getting a degree and regardless of what life throws at me I will not give in until I have obtained it.

Being properly motivated is not something I always am.  I don’t really know how to change that other than to just do it.  That is what it comes down, not being lazy and doing what has to be done.  No excuses, I just have to hold myself accountable and make sure shit gets done.  That’s all there is to it, no secret, JUST DO IT!!!

Desire is not something I have ever had a problem with, I have plenty of desires.  This, like focus can cause problems- I am going to do this and this and then that and that and so on and so forth.  I desire a degree, so all other desires will have to be sacrificed to make that happen and I am just going to have to accept that.  Most desires are temporary and fleeting at best, while those desires that require the most work are the most rewarding.  It is a short-term verse long-term situation and my desired goal is long-term.

I will keep my desires focused towards the goal, which will keep me motivated. At this point my motivation will be proving to myself and everyone else that I can do it.  I think enough people doubt me now that I feel I have something to prove.  That might sound lame ass, but for me it is a matter of whatever works.  If proving every single person I know wrong is what motivates me, so be it.  If it gets me to accomplish my goal that is all I care about….

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Meeting My Expectations

So how have you all been?  It has been quite some time since I have written a blog and I am long overdue to update what I have been up.  In the last blog I wrote Fear of Success  I mentioned that I was finally going to start living up to the expectation that myself and others had.  I was going back to school and I wanted to kick ass this semester.  It took quite a bit just to get into school, I was on deemed ineligible for financial aid, because I had royally screwed up the first semester that I went.  After writing a letter and explaining why my first semester was so awful I was put on probation and was eligible for aid, but I had pressure to be almost perfect to pull my GPA up to passing.

I do tend to thrive under pressure, so I had that going for me, but did I take blow off classes to bring up my average?  Nope!  I took some hard ass classes.  Macroeconomics (by far the hardest class I have ever taken), Consumer Finance, Principles in Management and College Composition.  To further increase the difficulty I took all these classes online.  Do not ever make the mistake of thinking online classes are easier; you are essentially the teacher and the student.  You have a professor that you can ask questions, but you basically teach yourself.  Of the classes I took, if I could do it again I would take Macroeconomics at school, not online.

At the start of the semester the class I feared the most was College Comp., I mean I love writing, but being given a writing assignment can at times kill my love of writing and stifle my creativity.  The first assignment I intentional tanked, I wanted it to seem like I had a lot of room for improvement.  I got a passing grade, but when I got the paper back it was littered with red ink.  Every other paper following that one were A’s including the research paper, suffice to say I got an A in that class.

Consumer Finance and Principles in Management were not easy, but they were not incredibly difficult either.  They were do the reading, take the test classes.  I had to write a three page paper in Principles on anything to do with management and that was no problem.  The tests in both these classes were hard but manageable.  My grades for these classes ended up being A’s.  So far, so good, I am living up to those lofty expectations I had for myself.

Until this semester Accounting had been the hardest class I had ever taken.  Macroeconomics blew Accounting away.  With all the graphs and having to be able to look at economics on a much larger scale, my mind was starting to get blown away after the second week.  The first test I did pretty well though, I was surprised.  The second test I had to go to the school to take the test, because my laptop charger had broken.  I was so distracted, sitting in a computer lab with a hundred other students; I got a 60% on that test.  I instantly went into panic mode, “Oh my god, I am going to fail this class and be kicked out of school.” Thankfully, my wife helped settled me down and I looked at the whole picture and with the homework I was still passing.

In my mind though, I needed and A in all my classes to bring up my GPA to get myself out of probation.  So just passing this class would not be enough.  I talked to the professor and she said that she gave out extra points at the end of the semester, the amount of points depended on how many students actually finished the course.  I did decent on the remaining tests, but had no idea what my final grade would be.  As the semester ended the teacher posted a note on the site that said she was adding 80 points to the overall point total, between homework and tests.  As I said, this class was HARD, and when I saw what the teacher had written I went to course site and was looking at my grades.  At this time I realized I could compare my grades against the class average.  The test I got a 60% on the class average was 33% and all the other tests I was way over the class average.  Those extra 80 points pushed my grade to A-.

My GPA for the semester was a respectable 3.918 and it easily pushed my overall GPA to passing and brought me out of probation.  While I am proud of how well I did this semester there are definitely things I can do to improve in the next semester.  The biggest thing I could improve upon is not waiting until the day a paper is due to actually write it.  Even the research paper, I did the research beforehand but did not even start writing it until the day it was due.  I guess that falls into the better time management category, something I can work in the spring semester.

For now, I will just happy knowing I lived up to, maybe even exceeded my own expectations.  There is room for improvement, but for once I didn’t let myself or anyone else down and that is something I can be proud of!

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An Internet Free From Censorship (SOPA)

 Envision a country where the powers that be can take down a website without the least bit provocation, where elected officials raise fears of “overseas pirates” to guard the interest of domestic businesses.  A country that companies like Google must give in to the demands of government censors or risk being shut down.  This is not China, North Korea or Iran being discussed, instead it is the United States of America.  If the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) that was introduced in the House of Representative on October 26th 2011 becomes law these are exactly the type of situations that could occur.  The internet must remain free from censorship and SOPA must not become a law of this free country.

            SOPA would seek to protect the music and movie industries from online piracy, especially from foreign websites.  Current copyright law enforcement allows US officials to shutdown infringing sites within the United States; they are generally unable to shutdown foreign sites. What the law proposes is that the Department of Justice would seek court orders preventing online ad and payment processors for doing business with foreign websites that are under the suspicion of permitting or assisting copyright infringement. The court order could also prevent search engines from linking to suspected infringing sites and order domain name registrars to remove the site and Internet Service Providers (ISP’s) to block subscriber’s right of entry to the website charged with infringing. This could lead to websites being taken off the internet all together and the government should not have the power to do that.

The bill is too sweeping, the big names in showbiz could make any site seem like it were encouraging or capable of copyright infringement.  It could basically shutdown the internet.  A picture of Charlie Brown and his tiny tree placed on a Facebook wall and Facebook could be blocked because ABC lays claim to ownership of Charlie Brown.  It could also turn everyone into hackers.  The bill is meant to counter piracy, but it will not counter it all.  While it might be able to block websites it will not be able to remove the IP address (the numbers associated with a particular website.)  So instead of remembering a websites name, the numeric URL would have to be used to gain access to these sites, much like hackers do.  The internet would become less fun.  Any sites that thought there might be a copyright infringement would just pull the content rather than risk being blocked by the government.  Innovators would be fearful of inadvertently disobeying this law, so would less likely to create the next best thing.  The final thing it does, it puts more power in the hands of those already with the most power.  Those with the copyrights could charge whatever they wanted, there would be little competition.

This law would amount to censorship of the internet and other countries in the global community have spoken out against it.  The European Parliament has adopted a resolution against SOPA.  The resolution stresses the importance of “the need to protect the integrity of the global internet and freedom of communication by refraining from unilateral measures to revoke IP addresses or domain names”. Put in basic terms, the measure in SOPA are too far-reaching, to open to interpretation and the integrity and freedom of the internet will be adversely affected.

This new legislation, if passed, could strike at the heart of the way the internet has been organized.  Sharing, frankness and involvement are at the core of what the internet stands for.  An open internet is preferred over one walled off by government censors.  This legislation, if passed, would lead to a decline in internet innovation.  Many of the benefits and gains mankind has made because of the internet over the past five to ten years could be wiped out with the passage of this bill.

The Stop Online Piracy Act seeks to protect the interest of the movie and music industries by creating a law that allows the Unites States government to aggressively defend their copyright laws.  The law as currently written is far too all-encompassing and the financial gains to these industries would not be worth the amount of potential damage done by censoring the internet.  It will stifle advancement on the internet and turn regular people into internet hackers.  SOPA must not be allowed to pass, if we allow the internet to be censored what will be next?

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The Effects of Globalization on the United States Economy

Globalization is the “development of an increasingly integrated global economy marked especially by free trade, free flow of capital, and the tapping of cheaper foreign labor markets.”Globalization has been viewed in both a positive and negative light, within the global community.  The specific effects upon the United State economy have likewise received mixed reviews.  Initially showing benefits in the form of lower cost to consumers, these lower costs themselves came with a price.  More jobs were shifted overseas; companies could save money with lower wages and fewer environmental laws.  Yes, their savings were passed on to the consumer, but fewer people were able buy, many having lost their jobs to the “global economy.”  Globalization has spread to nearly every corner of the world and even more jobs, in the United States, have been lost to lower wage underdeveloped counties.

 The theory is that for every job lost another job in a new field or sector will open.  That has not held true.  While globalization has raised national income, it also has reduced the incomes of most workers. As of October 2011 the unemployment rate was 9.1%and the majority of these were labor jobs that were lost to lower wage unskilled workers in foreign markets.  These workers end up on long-term unemployment as labor jobs in this economy are not being created.  Instead more high-end, professional jobs are being created with less workers being available in this field which drives their wages higher.  This creates even further inequalities between those that have and those that have-not.

            Though the cost of items for consumers fell initially as globalization become more widespread during1990’s in to the early 2000’s, it has since seen demand decrease. This will force less production which creates potential shortages that, in the end, lead to a rise in prices.  It is this point that the United States economy is stuck; high unemployment, prices rising for basic goods and less money left for spending.  As of March 2011, “Food prices already are the highest since the U.N. began keeping track in 1990.” This effects overall spending as there is less money available to buy products that are increasing in price.

            While the economy has added jobs, over one million in 2010, growth has slowed dramatically in the last month with additional job increases barely keeping pace with population growth. This is of little help to the more than fifteen million that are already unemployed. People coming out of college with a four year bachelor’s degrees are finding it difficult to get entry level positions that pay well.  Many companies have begun outsourcing their entry level management jobs to other, more affordable countries, this is called offshoring.  The jobs that are available in this country, the higher paying professional jobs, require experience, experience that is becoming increasingly difficult to get in the United States job market.

            As the inequalities in the United States continue to grow, the result of a vicious spiral: “The rich rent-seekers use their wealth to shape legislation in order to protect and increase their wealth—and their influence.” This has lead to a feeling of helplessness among the vast majority.  The majority have banded together to form protest across the global.  In the United States the Occupy Wall Street movement has taken center stage in protest of globalization.  The occupy Wall Street slogan is “we are the 99%” meaning that the top one percent of the population control forty percent of the total wealth of the country. What started in New York, New York on a Saturday in September has spread across cities throughout the country.

            The initial gain from globalization in the form of lower prices for consumers has since shown itself to be a detriment to the United States economy.  A steady stream of job losses through the outsourcing of jobs to foreign countries, for lower wages, has left the United States with a high rate of employment. With an economy that just is not producing enough jobs in the labor sector to benefit the majority of Americans, the populace is becoming angry and frustrated with the corporate culture.  The system does not need to be scrapped, but it does need to be fixed.  At the current time the balance of power is shifted to the minority who possess more than that of the majority.  The scales of justice always find a way to proper equilibrium and this time will be no different, as power will shift and again be in balance.

 

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Fear Of Success

Quite awhile back when I was a young punk ass, know-it-all, I was seventeen at the time, my parents made me go to a drug and alcohol counselor.  They knew I had an alcohol problem and figured I smoked pot; they had no idea how far down the rabbit hole I had gone.   That’s neither here nor there, for now.  I agreed to go so I could get out of working at this horrible job I had at a place that made adhesive bandages (band-aids), it was mind-numbing, tedious work and I hated it.  They called and set up an appointment at a place that specialized in teens with drug and alcohol problems.

After meeting with my counselor a few times to discuss my background (I held nothing back from her, telling her all the different drugs that I had had experiences with) and how the treatment program would proceed she sat me down to give me her evaluation.   She went through all the preliminary bullshit about how these drugs and alcohol were bad and the effects that they can have on an adult’s life, let alone that of a teenager.  Then she got into the more personal aspects of the session. She said that she could tell I had potential (something I had heard over and over and the word still makes me cringe.)  What she said next really blew my mind, she said, “You have a fear of success.”  Knowing me, at that time in my life, I probably answered her with, “What the fuck does that mean?”

I honestly do not remember her answer, but throughout my adult life those words have seemed to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Every time that I have been on the edge of being successful I have done something to sabotage that success.  I cannot say I have knowingly done these things to prevent myself from reaching my true potential.  Yet in looking back I can see how I created the situation that ensured my failure, whether with jobs, school or writing; I have often been the one responsible for my collapse.  As part of my “starting over” this IS the main thing I need to figure out to be able to move forward.

I do not believe I have an actual fear of success.  I think I have a fear of living up to the expectations that being successful at something can create.  I have worried too often about letting people down; as a result I have worked at lowering people’s expectations.  Thinking like that has got me absolutely nowhere; it has kept me right where I have been, treading water or backsliding. That is just not good enough.   For now on I want people to have high expectations for me.

Mostly, I want to have high expectations for myself.  I do not want to be one responsible for holding myself back; that is just plain old stupid.  I have potential, a lot of potential (hey I said that without cringing) and it is long overdue for me to start living up to that potential.  So if you read this I want you to have the highest possible expectations for me that you can have.  For me, I am no longer going to fear success; I am going to achieve it. From my point of view, the sky is the limit and I am just getting started.

 

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